I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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