Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
