He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
