i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
