we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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