he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
