i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
