you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize