After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
