Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
