there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
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