that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
