god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
