what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
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