If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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