Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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