You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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