you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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