just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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