You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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