I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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