Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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