Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
