I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
