So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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