just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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