im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
