420 ftw
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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