yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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