How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
