Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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