Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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