Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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