well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
