he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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