i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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