is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize