There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
