Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
