He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
