Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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