so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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