Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Randomize
