I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
