david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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