it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
