Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
