he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize