Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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