I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
