I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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