There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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