You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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