I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
