Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
