I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
