Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
