i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
