Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
