I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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