I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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