ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
