walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
