shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
