what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She announced her abortion via fbk
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
