i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
