found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
